Because it didn?t screen for critics, and because of a water-main break in the only New York theater showing the film today, it took me three tries to see John Gulager?s Piranha 3DD. That means I had to walk up to the ticket booth and say ?One for Piranha 3DD, please? exactly 3DD times.
That was three times too many.
Piranha 3DD is the hardly-at-all awaited follow-up to Alexandre Aja?s 2010 schlockerpiece Piranha 3D, in which hordes of mutant killer fish found their way into a lake favored by scantily clad cuties just as spring break was kicking in. Boobs and penises were chomped upon mercilessly; asses hanging through the doughnut holes of innertubes became low-hanging fruit for these bloodthirsty carnivores, giving new meaning to the term ?bottom feeder,? not to mention ?buttmunch.? Piranha 3D was ridiculous, gory and fun, everything Piranha 3DD is not.
Piranha 3DD takes place not near a lake or an ocean, but around an Arizona water park run by an unapologetic sleazebag (David Koechner) who believes he?s going to rake in the dough with his new enterprise, a sort of chlorinated strip bar where women are invited — nay, encouraged — to swim topless. And so they do. The sleazebag?s step-daughter, a smart, pretty marine biologist (Danielle Panabaker), catches wind of this plan and doesn?t like it one bit — she?s half-owner of the park and would prefer to see it as a locale for good, old-fashioned family fun, as it has been for years. But that?s the least of her problems, as you can imagine. Massive numbers of finned, fanged nasties have found their way into a nearby lake and you can bet your innertube-encircled ass that it won?t be long before they show up in…
Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrities-gossip/review-piranha-3dd-more-like-sub-double-a/
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